Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Smells like entitlement.

*sprinkles of sarcasm included because really how else could I respond.

I am baffled.  Truly.  I admittedly know nothing about our local high school basketball program.  Nothing.  I do not know our coach or any assistants.  I've never been to a game.  Never.  I do however, know enough to comment when I received a mailer urging the head coach be replaced. 
Seriously.  A mailer. 

A double sided, stamped mailer.  Which includes the following:

"It's time for a change.  The 2012-2013 Noblesville Miller basketball team was one of the most talented (and the tallest) in the entire state.  Yet, for the third year in a row, the team seriously underachieved relative to their talent and potential.  This very disappointing record included 9 losses -7 after leading or tied in the 4th quarter.  The team has lost the opening round of Sectionals the last three years."

The 2012-2013Noblesville boys basketball season was yet another season where:
Players were subjected to a negative and demeaning coaching style, berated regularly and subjected to profanity in practice.  Players rarely received individual coaching or positive encouragement from the head coach. 
Player morale deteriorated as the season progressed, but players perservered in the program because of their love of basketball and despite their strong dislike for the head coach.
Players were expected to perform "slave labor" for the head coach at youth camps and concession stands
Two-a-days (before and after school) practices left little study time and caused players to fall asleep in class
By sectionals time, player confidence and enthusiasm was depleted
-players just wanted the season to be over
Albert Einstein said, "insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting different results."  Such is the Noblesville Boys Basketball program. 
It's time to replace Coach McCullough and bring in a more positive and effective head coach to Noblesville Schools."

I do not know how many people this mailer went to or how much money was spent on it.  I just know I received it in my box and honestly couldn't believe what I was seeing.  Here is the trouble with it. Just some random thoughts.

It is mean.  Just mean.  This coach may not be good at his job.  You may not be good at yours.  But sending out a mailer asking for him to be replaced?   Mean.   Lovely lesson you are teaching your children.  Takes bullying to a whole new level.  This coach may be a jerk.  He may be a horrible coach.  This is not the way for me to hear your concerns.  This is not the "positive and effective" change you want for your beloved Millers.

How entitled does one have to feel to send mailers out to try to ensure that their child is on a winning team?  What kind of lesson are you teaching your kids?  Winning is fabulous.  I'm an IU fan.  I know what that's like:)  But how about hard work and determination and academics?

I too would not want my child to be coached in a negative or demeaning manor or to be berated or subjected to profanity. ( Even though I doubt if they were winning with this coaching style you'd have issue with it.)  Valid point if the alleged is true but your other arguments kind of make this one valid point become a non issue for me.  Not to mention, this mailer comes across as slightly demeaning and negative itself. 

I had coaches throughout my life that I liked and disliked. I played the game for me.  My parents would have never sent out a mailer about a meany coach.  They would have told me to play my game.  To hold myself to a different standard, to work hard.  They would have told me that in life there may be bosses I have or peers I have to work with that I may not like or agree with but I have to find a way to carry myself in a respectable fashion and work through it. 

Two-a-days are ridiculous, I agree, but are seen in many sports since I was in high school 20+ years ago.  It is a regular practice that this coach should not be singled out for.

The player morale and enthusiasm as the year progressed I bet was more affected by the attitude of the players and parents involved in this mailer than anything else.  Sometimes life isn't fair and things stink and it's okay for our kids to know that.  

The statement that we have one of the talented and tallest teams in the entire state gave me a good chuckle.  My husband is a 6 foot 5 inch black man and let's just say he ran track and played soccer in college.  For a reason.

The tone of the mailer hit me the most as an entitlement issue when I got to the ''slave labor'' sentence.  If you want to see slave labor, I will be happy to introduce you to the very real world wide issue. Your son having to work the concession stand isn't it and is completely offensive to say.  Spun this momma's head around and ended in a Z snap.

There are a dozen problems with our school system right now.  Our teachers need your support, our arts and music need your support.  I could give you the names of a dozen teachers who would love your funding for cool ideas they have for their classroom.  If you have money to throw at an 'issue,' I can help you find one but this?!  This is what you are going to join arms in and send out a mailer for.  Seriously?! 

The Albert Einstein quote?  Really.  It was  a good for a laugh. 

I am thankful parents want to stand up for their children when they feel they have been justifiably wronged.  Kudos for that.  But justifiably should be the key word here.  Voice your concerns to the coach himself, superintendent, parents, administration but to take out a mailer publicly shaming someone.  Ridiculous.  C'mon parents, we are better than that.   This group "paid for by concerned Miller parents seeking a better basketball program" is better than this I'm sure.  I'm sure they wanted to do right by their children, but in my opinion, they missed the mark.  Big time.

Would love to hear your thoughts on this.

*The image of the dejected ball player was a nice touch. 


Jenny R. Sherrill said...

I agree! I was horrified by the tone of this -- as you know from my Facebook post -- and thought it was a mean and underhanded way to address a problem rather than going through the proper channels. There's nothing in the list of accusations that every boys' basketball coach for 20, 30, 40 years hasn't been doing, and to say that the coach is the reason the tallest boys in town (most talented??? according to whom, their parents? because seems to me everyone's parents think their kid is the most talented...) is ridiculous at best.
I would find this laughable except for the public manner in which this guy is being humiliated. I'm guessing that he's a big enough man to take it, and that he understands the nature of being a coach of a high-profile sport will bring this sort of nonsense, but I still find it unacceptable. I hope the kid whose parents did this is not horribly humiliated, but I do hope he doesn't feel proud of this spoiled little temper tantrum.

amy cornwell said...

Scary the lengths that people will go these days. I just don't even have any words. It horrifies me that adults do things like this. You're right, it's bullying and it's so incredibly sad.

Anonymous said...

Your response is spot-on!! Having been a high school athlete in four different sports, marching band, an honor student and a full-time working student outside of school, this mailer made me laugh. Kids these days have no idea what true "hard work" is and most parents these days want instant gratification for their kids without expecting them to earn it. All of the points made on the mailer are facts of life when playing sports. Suck it up can't always win in life.

Eva Taylor said...

The title of your post itself hit the mail righ on the head. Well said my friend!

Anonymous said...

You penned a great response.

Sorry the mailer author feels their kids are above pitching in with auxiliary work. No, I lied. I just feel sorry for them.

Courtney Cole said...

Your blog nailed about every thought I had when I received it! I know nothing about the Coach, but I did play 2 sports in college & was on 3 STATE championships at Noblesville & this is NOT the way to go about it!! Thanks for doing such a good job of summarizing exactly how I felt when it came to our BUSINESS!

john alsup said...

I went 2 summer camps with coach Mac and practiced in his gym, never once being mistreated or disrespected. Due to my own immaturity , I refused 2 follow his rules in order for me to play. I was angry at the time but looking back, he taught me a life lesson. If u wanna play, ya have to follow certain rules and life isn't always about what u want or what u think should happen. As adults, ur parents are no longer able to write slanderous blogs to ur boss, professor and insurance provider on ur behalf. U play by the rules, or ur out. Coach Mac is a great man and deserves better than this. Way to enable your children into not being adults. Makes me sick.

Kerri said...

I'm wondering why this group took their case to the public. It makes me think that they started working their way up through the chain of command but didn't like the results. So... they decided to try this man in public. In the process they made themselves look foolish. Coaches yell (even in first grade coach pitch leagues). Do professional coaches yell and use profanity? You betch ya. What these parents did was put their kids in the crossfire. When shots get fired back and forth, the wounded will be the players. If the kids have a problem with the coach, it's their responsibility to speak up for themselves. This is one of the best life skills a parent can teach their son or daughter. As a parent, I would not want to associate myself with this group. They've totally thrown an air ball.

Anonymous said...

The author of this note must not understand that coach McCollough has THE MOST WINS OF ANY ACTIVE COACH IN THE STATE OF INDIANA. That doesn't happen by accident. He's coached 2 Mr. Basketballs, and has winning season after winning season. Effective managers are almost always "tough". Ineffective managers are almost always "nice". Go get a "nice" coach and start losing games. How nice and patient do you think Mike Krzyzewski is? How about Tom Crean? Top level coaches are tough. ALL programs have 2 a days. And I agree boo hoo for asking his players to help with youth programs and concessions. I'm sure this parent doesn't think their child should have to pour a soda. BOO HOO. Do you know how elementary and middle school players look up to the varsity team in these camps? It makes a lifetime impact on them. PLUS, nothing reinforces fundamental teaching more than TEACHING OTHERS. That flyer is a shame.

Monica said...

I think you are spot on! I too have never experienced the high school basketball to any degree, but nothing that was said sounds sub-par.

So far as the "slave labor", really!? Just because they aren't getting paid? Isn't that a part of being on the team, supporting the team, etc.? What about reducing their fees? (Again, I don't know because we aren't in the program), but I've heard of teams where you can either do the fundraiser OR you can do so many hours in the concession stand. Seems less stressful to this parent to have my kid work the concessions than have to deal with an actual fundraiser.

What about teaching our kids work ethic and time management? Do these kids actually have no idea what is expected of them beforehand? To get where you want to be, you have to WORK FOR IT!! Surprise, parents!!

I'm increasingly saddened by the way our schools are teaching (or NOT teaching) our children things such as work ethic and entitlement. It frustrates me that in every game, everyone wins. Or you get rewarded for doing what's expected. When you don't get your way, you scream entitlement, privilege, or unfair. Guess what? LIFE. ISN'T. FAIR.

All this parent has done is bully and belittle a person for not providing a winning team. I'm pleased to see others agree that this is in no way right.

Cindi said...

I am grieved by bullies hiding behind anonymity . This is slander. I trust the community will speak out, and encouragements sent to the coach.

Anonymous said...

If you play high school athletics and don't have someone paying for everything (which most schools do not) you work youth camps and other fundraisers all the time. Most high school teams have players in two a day practices, that is the way it is. Noblesville plays in the toughest sectional in the state. They lost to the state champ Carmel this year and last year they lost to HSE who had Mr. Basketball.
There is a right way and a wrong way to do things, this is wrong. Who's Dad is upset with playing time? Who wants to be the next head coach? If you are going to send this slanderest crap out you need to step up and put your name on it. Ted Brown

Scott Kiov said...

Pathetic is all that comes to mind. I never played basketball at Noblesville, but I did play football and Soccer. I did; however, have coach Mac as my APC teacher as well as my health teacher. I can tell you one thing is for sure... basketball was just a little bit about what this man is about. The majority of his purpose is to grow each and every student he gets an opportunity to teach. He fulfills that purpose well. I smarted off to him one time in APC and he pulled me aside and proceeded to tell me that there are a few guys in that class who he expected that behavior from, but I was not one of them. In few but strong words he told me I was better than that and he held me to a higher standard. The "concerned parents" are a joke. Two a days are hard, but entirely necessary if you want to compete at that level. This is not a league where you get a trophy for participating and you don't keep score. This is Indiana Basketball and is the hardest division to play high school ball arguably in the world. If you want to win (which every real athlete does) you have to put in the time and effort. If you aren't the best, then you don't play... it is that simple. I played soccer and football in the same season and had to attend soccer two a days and football two a days at the same time. I was in the best shape of my life and it prepared me for life. Life is tough, and is not fair, get over it.
Slave Labor!?!? Working the concessions is a way to give back to your program, because without volunteers, the funding that comes from that work would not exist. I worked concessions as well as did car wash's to help fund my program. Also, many who play high school sports also play club sports in the summer which prevent them from being able to work a job. This helps teach skills that can't be learned on the court or field. People need to grow up... if you want to argue that his record at Noblesville is sub par enough that warrants looking for a new coach, fine. But going about it this way is truly pathetic.


Anonymous said...

I got cut from basketball tryouts by Coach Mac....and he's still one of my all-time favorite coaches/teachers @ Noblesville High School. He encouraged me to participate in a sport I was better at (than basketball) and that's what I did. He's very tough but deeply cares about his players and their future successes in life--I am confident in saying that he is not the problem. The problems with this mailer have already been addressed but I, like everyone else, find it ludicrous. I certainly hope the parents who thought this would be a good idea are revealed and put to shame. Publishing that mailer will not help them nor their children.

Steve Whitehead said...

I hope that the parents realize what all they have done and I really hope that their kid(s) are seniors, so they do not have to deal with the backlash due to their parents ignorance. Not only are their "points" and comments juvenile and spiteful, but they have been supported here, on Facebook and on Twitter by a total number of ZERO people! I was going to wish them luck moving forward (as their lives and their kids will obviously be an uphill battle), bit opted for the hope of karma knocking on their door very soon and taking a big bite right out of their............hiney!

Josh Lindemann said...

spot on post and kudos to you for taking the time. i put out a twitter rant yesterday after receiving this that echoed many of your thoughts.

What about where they got the addresses from? I have an unpublished address so I think they must have gotten addresses from the school's mailing list, which does have my address. If so, this mailer is not only slander but is also a violation of the Mail Privacy Act. Whoever put out this garbage needs to be held accountable.

And I put MY name on it.

- Josh Lindemann

Steve Whitehead said...

I asked the same question on FB Josh about the mailing list. Does anyone know how that can be researched if at all possible? Of all the people I have spoken to that have received it have all been in sports, but not all of the same sport. If anyone knows of a way to find that out, let me know and I will head that witch hunt, I mean search up.

Anonymous said...

Sorry I can't get over "Tallest" Hahahahahhahahahahhahahahhahaha TB

Anonymous said...

The mailer struck me as coming from the classic helicopter/soccer mommies that prevail in Hamilton County. Oh no! My boy worked summer camp, concessions, two-a-days and heard some cuss words. Welcome to Indiana basketball.
These kids have the absolute best facilities in Indiana and are well funded. Let's be happy.

Anonymous said...

I have watched Coach ply his trade with passion and class. He is in the upper echelon of all Indiana coaches in player development and game-planning. I would love for my sons to play for him. To attack him in this manner is libelous, scandalous, and full of cowardice. Perhaps this person has made his case to the Noblesville Administration but has been rightly dismissed as a disappointed father.

I have been an athletic director for many years and know that Dave is held in high regard by other coaches and athletic administrators.

I deal with unhappy parents on a regular basis. It almost always comes down to the coach must go because the son is a superstar who is being mistreated or underutilized. I have not seen a parent go to this extent. Sounds like a parent who gets his way in most aspects of his life but cannot bully this coach. Probably a powerful person who thus cannot disclose the fool behind the mailing lest he lose favor with some. I will bet some already know who this person is by the modus operandi used. Motive will usually lead to the unmasking.

Josh Lindemann said...

oh, there's going to be an unmasking. Dakich already said he's giving these "concerned parents" 24 hours to come on his show or he's calling them out by name.

Anonymous said...

I think you wrote this brilliantly. Your intentions were obviously not seek out the people who wrote this mailer and do to them what they have done to this coach but to bring attention to what their actions represent. As 'concerned parents' it is our jobs to provide our children with the right tools to deal with situations that may not always end the way they see fit. Being treated with disrespect from anyone is hard, let alone from a coach (if that may be the case). It is not how we are treated that we can control, it is how we react to the way we are treated by others that is in our control. Was this the best way to get your point across? This is not just about a basketball team this is about a man's life. His job, his character, his family, his friends, the community in which he lives and it sounds has devoted his time and energy to for most of his life. As for 'slave labor', this is a huge ACTUAL issue in our world!! What ignorance to even compare what our children have to do to slave labor!!! God forbid your child do something to serve others!! It is a privilege to be able to plays sports and ANY privilege will ALWAYS come with certain responsibilities!! Last time I checked those that are the best at what they do, especially in any sport, work their butts off way more than 2 times a day!!Get a grip people! We should be teaching our children humility! This type of behavior teaches our children entitlement, and the ONLY thing you are doing is setting them up for failure!! let's remind ourselves that the parents that wrote this are the adults, not the players. I hope they are not punished for their parents lack of integrity and common sense!

Jen said...

Josh, I appreciate your comments but cannot publish the address of who you think it is. Sorry dude. I believe this needed to be written but do not want to be involved in outing or attacking the parents involved. Plus, they live eerily close to me. lol

Jenny R. Sherrill said...

I am thrilled to see how many people stepped up to decry this piece of garbage. And to see the comments that clearly show that this is spiteful and mean.
To those who also got the mailer: Do you all live in the same neighborhood as Jen and I? Did they use our neighborhood directory? That's the best idea of where they came up with it that I could come up with, and I think that's deplorable.
Thank you to my friends and neighbors for standing up against this bullying. I hope your kids continue in the non-entitled paths you're working toward. I know I, for one, am glad to have Jen's kids as potential friends for mine, knowing what kind of ethic they're growing up under.
Oh, yes, and my son completely looked up to the teenagers who led him at Miller Basketball Camp. Thrilled.

Jen said...

It is definitely not just our neighborhood. A bit concerned over where the mailing list was from. Can't figure it out yet.

Nathen Darling said...

From what I can tell, it appears that someone had gotten the addresses from somewhere in the school system.

Anonymous said...

Coach macs a horrible coach he burns out his players by the time it was my senior year all the good players quit. he told me I couldn't play two sports and had to quit or he would cut me.

Jen said...

Again, anonymous, if you believe that he is a horrible coach, then say so constructively and use your name.

Steve Whitehead said...

If it ends up being who many people think it is, they have made quite an impression in the AAU basketball community over the years. I will out of respect for Jen and her wonderful work on this piece and all of her blogs (no I haven't read any of them beside this one, but dang she is one passionate and caring woman and feel comfortable if she did it, it was great)not use the words that have described the assumed perpetrators. I can only assume that they have been sitting at home for the last 24 hours thinking what in the world have we done??? I would think the thought of packing up and getting out of town has probably crossed their minds and I have got to believe the people of Kentucky would welcome the likes of them with open arms. Really need to get to bed know and get rested for the Dan Dakich Show tomorrow.

Anonymous said...

Actually, Coach is 13th on list of active coaches with most wins.

Big Mama said...

No, the people of KY would NOT welcome them! We're tough here and realistic!
Sarah Vinson

Anonymous said...

That is strange, my husband was a three sport athlete all the way through high school and excelled in all three... Under Coach Mac I might add.

Randy Leerkamp said...

I have been watching Noblesville basketball since the late 70's. My son played on the 1997 team that made the final 8 of the last single class season. I commented aloud to my family at the beginning of the year that this team had less basketball talent than any I could remember. They were big, but did not have great passers or shooters. Becasue they were big, they were a little slow. I was amazed that they came so far in 3 months. I thought that it was good coaching.

John Funaro said...

I live in Massachusetts but I've been following this story closely, mostly because of how Dan Dakich has made this a priority story over the airwaves.
This blogpost is terrific. As ridiculously unbelievable as it is these parents would make up and mail out this flyer, it is such a widespread issue--the over involved sports parents and their asinine intrusion (and subsequent negative impact)upon their son and the entire team. As a coach for almost 20 years, in response, I've often thought what would happen if I were to call the boss or employer of a player's parent and demand THEIR firing. Like I know best what makes a good attorney or construction worker because I've watched a few episodes of Judge Judy or Bob Villa.
It's nice to see so much support for Coach McCollough. He sounds like not only a great coach but a great person of character that any parent (with integrity) would want their son to play for.
I was relieved of my coaching duties a couple years ago because of one "influential" parent whose son complained about me and made complaints I was "unfair" to him (playing time mostly of course). No matter that every other player, parent, and coach thought this decision was beyond belief and totally wrong. It inspired me to write this:
I wish two things: That this positive publicity for Coach McCollough gets him the accolades he deserves and that the player involved here, because of his parents, learns a life lesson about what NOT to do.