Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Emotions bubbling up...

Today I had the privelege of taking our little guest to visit his momma.  In all honesty, it didn't feel like a privilege at first and I argued with myself most of the day about going or not.  I had tons to do and wanted to reschedule and maybe sorta kinda would tell myself that I was already doing enough by watching her child, did I need to do transport 45 minutes one way and stay for a 3 hour visit too....yes, I know, it is ugly but true.  Remember, I lack a filter.  Turns out the little angel on my shoulder won today and I decided not to reschedule and off we went. 

We pulled up to a duplex with a broken window on the top floor.  Next to it is a vacant lot with weeds above my head.  It was in a rough area and for a minute I even chuckled to myself a-what-the- heck-am-I-doing-here-by-myself.

His momma is very sweet.  They were excited to see each other and affectionate and playful.  I took them to the arcade at Circle Center and they played almost the entire time, stopping only to eat some dinner.  I left for part of the time to just let them be together.  For many reasons the day brought up lots of emotions for me.  All of the visits and unknowns and everything we went through with our kids.  Maybe it was because I was in their old stomping grounds.  Maybe because the situation feels similar in someways....I don't know but it took me by surprise and I was glad to have a moment to myself to just try and process it all.  She is smart and funny and very easy to talk with.  There wasn't a single moment of awkwardness.  Felt like meeting up with a new friend.  I really liked her. 

She is a young momma that has had some tough breaks and a few bad choices and is working really hard to get her feet under her to make a good life for she and her son.  On the way to the car we were passing a group of young homeless people and one of the girls asked if that was "D" and said our little guys full name.  His momma hugged her old friend and introduced us and we all walked to the car together; me, momma, her sweet boy and the homeless lady.  I'm sure people passing were trying to figure it all out.  It was a sobering moment.  One of those moments when you wonder why my path has been what it is and why their story is so different. *sigh*  He didn't cry when we left which made it easier on all of us. 

Part of the day was filled with the crazy drama story of her family and I remembered again how different P&L's life was and how their mom wanted to break that cycle for them and the huge sacrifice she did to ensure that.  I am thankful.  Humbled and thankful and a wee bit sad. 

1 comment:

Beautiful Mess said...

Oh my. I am so right there with you. Caring for a family member. I don't know if the momma struggling would be easier if she was a stranger. Either way it's tough!