Thursday, September 9, 2010

first day jitters....for mom!

I know, I know. I've been missing in action. Sorry. The past few weeks have been full tilt chaotic craziness around here. Two weeks my husband was gone. Two days after he came home, two of his aunts came to stay for a week and then there is the back to school meetings, sports starting, church responsibilities, starting a new little job and getting the little guy I watch through the school year back ....So, I'm behind. Not to mention the fact that our computer crashed and it is yet to be determined if she will ever work again. I'll get to all of this soon...but let me get to today! Today!!!

Today, my soon to be son, started pre-school. Today, my L walked out of our van with the biggest grin on his face and walked proudly and happily into his new pre-school. It made me a little teary, to be honest. Here was this little guy, that just over a year ago, had to go home with the director of Safe Families because his behavior was so aggressive that she was afraid to place him with anyone else. Here was this little guy that walked into our home with this ultra tough exterior and an overwhelmingly sad look in his eyes....a child whose spirit had obviously been broken...and he was walking out of our van with joy in his heart and confidence in his step. He wasn't fearful or anxious or acting tough. He was a pre-schooler! A ridiculously handsome pre-schooler. Love transforms all things.

I don't know if this is normal or because I know her or if every adoptive mom feels this but I again, thought of MOM...I couldn't believe she was missing this day. I couldn't imagine what she would feel if she could see him now. I wondered if he thought about her today and wished she could see his new backpack or his first day of school clothes. I felt so sad for her. I felt so thankful for him and that God placed him in our family. I felt blessed to witness this transformation that this precious resilient child has made....blessed to love him....blessed to be his momma. So so proud.

2 comments:

Ellie said...

Wow, Jen! Such a sweet moment, but a little sad at the same time. Isn't adoption so often like that? So sweet to make memories, reach milestones, but there's also the element of loss. In this case, the Mom's loss of seeing her little one reach a new milestone, and pass with flying colors.

It is wonderful to hear how L has progressed in a loving home! What a HUGE blessing is family. He now has a wonderful, supportive family to help him through life. Thanks for sharing!

Holly Anderson said...

L is such a precious, precious little boy. I love how he runs to the door when I get there and his eyes just sparkle with the love that you, Trevor, G, A, & N have poured into him.

He is the one who is blessed (along with all of your children) to have YOU.

Well done, good and faithful servant.