With my first born, I was induced so I knew the day she would come. With the other two, they were scheduled c-sections so I knew the day they would come too. I distinctly remember that feeling the evening before of tomorrow everything will be different. Tomorrow my life changes forever. It will never again be just us. We will never again be defined as this group in this family. Tomorrow we get bigger. Tomorrow there will be siblings and Trevor and I will have to work even harder at keeping our relationship as a focus. I remember those feelings. Tonight feels much the same way. I feel like we should toast to the past year and where it has brought us. I feel like we should thank God for the first three and the way our family was and I feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude that it will forever be the seven of us. That no one can ever be taken away from this family. We are a team...forever.
I was asking P and L tonight if they realized what adopted meant? We went over that it means I will be there mommy forever and they won't ever have to live another place or with anyone else, that daddy and brother and sisters will be forever and always and that our family was specially picked by God to be a family. And this little boy who spent the first few weeks here perched upon my head because of Wally our family dog, says..."and Wally will always be my Wally." Yes! Exactly! Always.
This year has stretched us like none other. It has had me thinking I was insane to others thinking I was insane;) It has made me laugh til my cheeks hurt and cry til my face is blotchy and red. It made me reach deeper and love stronger and grip on to the hands of my Father like never before. And it has blessed me. Really really blessed me. Trevor and I are the lucky ones. P and L are a gift to our family. A true gift. When we step out on complete faith and let Him guide our lives, I cannot begin to give voice to the blessings that follow. To God be the glory for the things HE has done.
I cannot wait til tomorrow. I cannot wait to be the mother to two strapping 40something pound toddlers!!! I cannot wait to see what God has in store for the next part of our journey with Him.