Thursday, April 15, 2010

Hurting....

Trevor had a tough day today. He took his dad to his neurology appointment and he sat for five hours in a third world clinic for a ten minute appointment that didn't bring good news. His dad had normal pressure hydrocephalus which is excess fluid on his brain. The neurosurgeon wanted to admit him Sunday and do a lumbar puncture and a shunt surgery on Monday morning. He told Trevor it would be $5000 US dollars. After speaking with his dad's regular GP and consulting a physician friend here, it seems a bit unrealistic to do the procedure. The procedure is done to treat symptoms and only works in about a third of all patients. The main symptoms are things he struggles with because of the Alzheimers anyways and would probably bring no relief. There will be a day when I truly believe this blessing of a man will sit at the right hand of our Father and he will be completely restored. We're not sure the neurosurgeon didn't just see US dollars and get a little procedure happy. It would buy him no time and no quality of life. He is almost 80 years old, diabetic and in end stage Alzheimer's. As a son that loves his father and respects him more than anything it is not an easy place to be in. So much responsibility and grief and just really tough decisions. It has been hard for him to see his dad like this. He sometimes just sits and stares and other times chatters to whoever will listen. We spoke on the phone tonight about what a blessing it is to show him the love of Christ right now and to give him the dignity he deserves. I just feel the heaviness of T's voice and I wish I could take the burdens away. I am glad my husband knows that our heavenly Father will.

His dad lives in a duplex that they own. We rent out the smaller side to help pay for his care. The renters this time around had quit paying and part of the reason he went down there was to make sure they vacated the property. Trevor says it needs alot of work to become rentable again and it's just another thing to worry about. It is difficult to find someone there to trust to finish the work in a timely manner and for a good price and harder to find the time away from work here to do it yourself. So in the meantime, it sits empty and no rent comes in and his amazing caregiver still needs to be payed and bills pile up and things here have to be juggled to make ends meet there..... Anybody up for a mission trip to Jamaica? lol

Our God will provide. He always has. I wish I was there with Trev. I could paint or sit with Daddy or just be present with my husband. "Daddy" as we all lovingly call him was the greatest example of a father and a husband and I find myself so thankful this evening that he was chosen to guide and nurture my husband. It is largely because of "Daddy" that I have the man I do. I am so proud of the way he loves his dad, of the way he treats him with such gentelness and dignity and the way he is being the hands and feet of Jesus to a man that lived everyday of his life being that to others.

Pray for them, friends. Pray for solutions and answers and God's peace. Love to you all.

4 comments:

jodona said...

Praying for answers and miracles

Holly Anderson said...

Oh, I know how much this man means to you, Jen. The time, energy, and love you invested caring for him in your own home those years, I know, were so difficult; yet, in part made you who you are today right along with how he shaped who Trevor is.

I admire how you two continue to live out "honor your father" in so many ways from so far away. I honestly don't know how you do it with all you have to deal with right here.

I wish, wish, wish we could get there by car - no matter how far - and I'd make it happen. :-( Please let me know if there is anything I can do. I know that sounds trivial, but you know I mean it.

Love you!

Beautiful Mess said...

Praying!!!

Michelle said...

You don't know me, but your description of how your hubby cares for his father really touched me. I will be praying for Trevor, and for a peaceful time for his dad. Blessings to you today!