Since I've been home MOM has a job now and she has been there three weeks. We are very excited for this step in her life. She has checked in on the children each week and has let us know she would like us to take custody. We are not all that hip on custody. It really doesn't change much for us or the children and she could still take them back at anytime. It also gives the children no sense of belonging or security in their future with us.
We have told her that if it is her intention to be their full time mother at some point, then we are asking her to sign guardianship to us. That would allow the children to be on our insurance and go to our doctors and allow us full parenting privileges like getting them enrolled in school and things like that. The main reason for wanting this is if she does want them back, she has to prove her competency as a parent to the courts. This is the only way I will be able to return them to her, if it is proven that she can be a good parent to them and we have given her a six month window to get in that place to be able to do that. That would mean the children had been with us a year. I know that seems like forever and I cannot imagine giving them back but if, in the course of their young lives, if this one year is the only time she needs help, then I would hope someone would help me for that amount of time. I would hope someone would give me another chance. After that six months, if she is not fit, we have asked that they are signed over for us to adopt. The six months would allow her time to become a part of their life again and she would have to work in cooperation with us so the children know that we all love them and working hard for their futures. That would mean doing things all together and her allowing us to mentor her and help her with some skills she may need. This would hopefully build a relationship that could continue for the rest of their lives.
IF she doesn't want to get them back at any point in the next six months, then we are asking her to sign adoption papers right away. We feel it is in the children' s best interest to feel fully a part of our family and that guardianship for an extended amount of time would not be good for that outcome. I want them to know we want them and they are loved completely as our own. I do not want them to question their security and future with our family. I think permanency is the only weapon we have against that.
We are waiting to see what MOM says. She has been kind lately and appreciative so I am praying she sees this offer as her best option. I think this is the only way we can love P and L and their MOM. Trying to be Jesus in this situation is so difficult but it is so not about ME. Pray she sees our heart in this situation. We have prayed and prayed about what to do and we think this is the plan God would choose. Now we just have to trust HIS soveriengty for how it pans out.