When this all began, we really felt like we were trusting God and that is what this entire lesson has been about....for Him to provide for this large family, for Him to decide if we were to be a family, for HIS wisdom, sovereignty and mercy. Today the challenge seems to be that again but this time is may be WAY harder for us to do.
MOM is getting more hateful by the day. She continues to threaten and throw accusations and just really make this ugly. This is not what we are about. Everytime my phone rings and I see it is Safe Families this lump jumps to my throat and it is hard to breath. Total anxiety I know and not a good place to be in. God be with me.
Today, Safe families is making it very clear to MOM that we did not show up on her doorstep and take her kids from her. We never told her she wasn't doing a good job and we could do better. We did not, trust me, come looking for this. We were sitting in our home when we got a call about a family in crisis and two beautiful children who might need a home. We have offered her help and support every time we've been in contact with her. She has only wanted us to adopt them. We have loved and cared for her babies. We are in this to be a family to children that NEED a family. To parent children that NEED parents. If SHE wants to be their parent and they don't need another family, then SHE needs to come and get her children and step up to the plate and parent them. If she cannot be a parent to them and they need a family, then she needs to sign the papers and graciously step into the background. IF she comes and gets these two it will devastate our family and I will spend the rest of my life praying that God take care of them. I will have to TRUST HIM to do just that.
It is honestly something I can't even think about right now. We did not go on this journey for an ugly custody battle and to take away children from a mother that wants them, no matter how differently she will raise and provide for them. We will not engage in her ugliness and we will not put the children through anything like the last meeting again. I know she is scared and I know her defense is to lash out at us and I can handle her pain and her sadness but this has gotten really out of control. I just pray and want you all to pray that she will remember why she was doing all of this in the first place and out of love, make the right choice for her children. I believe that right choice is our family and cannot even let myself begin to imagine the what ifs......Pray for my anxiety and that I feel that peace of God I know is here with me.
Dear Gracious and Loving Lord, please cover P and L in your shelter of safety and provide a loving caring home for them where they will grow into the potential you have planned for them....if that be her or us ,we trust in your love for them. Please help our family to know our role in this and to be Your Light in a very dark situation. Heavenly Father, hear our prayers for these babies and bring stability and permanency to their life. Be with this hurting girl and work a miracle in her heart. A miracle to give her the confidence and knowledge to be a mom or the courage not to be and the grace to step away so her children can live their life in peace. Be with Grace, Noah and Ava and help us be the example they need during this and please don't break their hearts. Be with K at Safe Families and just send your Holy Spirit to be with her when she communicates with MOM. Cover us, Lord. Bring us resolution. AMEN