Thursday, June 4, 2009

Are we having fun yet?

You don't have to read these notes. It is my therapy. So in the spirit of authenticity...today was a little rough. Not bad, just a bit rough. I think we were a bit overstimulated and tired and we had a minor meltdown. I'm saying we so the unnamed child can remain anonymous;) First I took 6 kids to swim lessons for the oldest 3...no we have not taken in any one else, I watch one little guy 3 days a week. Other than Ava NOT enjoying the first 15 minutes, they all did great! I however was sweating like a hog and looked like I was the one who had been in the pool. I'm starting to think I may spend the next 18 years or so sweating and running around:)Then we went to our friends to swim so I could see how the younger two do with the water. I don't even know if they have ever been in a pool and thought the screams would nice in the privacy of a friends backyard. Little fish.....not so much, but we had fun.The tricky part came when it was time to leave and ''we'' didn't want too. Here came the first real fit I've seen. Some throwing ourself around, yelling, crying, and not listening.......pretty mild. After sitting and just hugging and rocking ''we'' snapped out of it only to continue when we got to the carseat. Which started the other ''we'' crying too. Mommy then had to say a very firm no yelling. You can cry but no yelling. Worked!!!! Sniffles the whole way home and then lots of hugs and promises to go back.They crashed for nap. I think I pressed my luck and they just need some time at home with not a lot else going on for a bit.

Cons of the day:meltdown and it making feel like a failure.....having to talk to a 2 and 3 year old about missing their 'other mommy' ,husband really not sure what will happen to his jobstill lots of screaming when the dog is nearby

Pros of the daygetting over the failure feeling and pluggin alongglad they felt safe to talk to me about other mommy and that I was allowed to comfort themtrusting in GOD and HIS provisions for our familyLogan actually let Wally lick his hand today!!

This is what I realized today though. In all brutal honesty. I know it is God who brought us to this experience. I know it is God that will get us through this experience. But in all the chaos of the last few days, I have taken very little time for my MOUNTAIN MOVING GOD. When I got a second, I facebooked or read up on adoption. I didn't start my day with HIM and then I wondered why the day was rough. Tomorrow I will not make the same mistake. Lead my steps, Lord. Help me through this day. I know it is you who will show me the way. I most certainly cannot do this on my own. I am insignificant without you.The funniest thing of the day was walking out of swim lessons with two African American children, three biracial ones and one little white kid with blonde hair and blue eyes......now THAT was fun!! I'm sure we had some people wandering...."What's the story there?'' Then I got home and realized what I looked liked and thought OH Maybe that's why people were looking?! LOL So in that spirit of authenticity, I share with you what I looked like when my poor husband came home tonight!! Tomorrow is a new day and I'm gonna talk to Jesus about it right now!

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